Revelation

April 24th, 2008 - This was a day of reckoning and realization. Gilles asked me if I wanted him to go with me to see Dr. Norman for the results of an ultrasound I had the previous week. I, being the brave independent warrior, said no and traipsed off to the clinic thinking I would hear words like "uterus slightly out of kilter," or the like. Once I received the diagnosis of "ovarian cancer" I heard nothing. My brain was numb.
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The purpose for me writing this blog is so that I can keep whoever might be interested updated on what is happening with us. Sometimes it gets to be a bit of a chore writing to everyone individually, although I do love keeping in touch. I love you all so much and appreciate your concerns and the many different ways you show your love to us. So if you like you may keep tabs on my journey.

Today is August 1st, 2008. The good news is that I am now half way through my chemotherapy. This entire cancer issue has changed our lives in a dramatic way. No one ever knows what is around the corner so if I had to offer some advice, it would be to love your family unconditionally...hold them close if you can or make sure you keep in touch; pray and trust God for the big things and the details and talk to Him regularly; pursue your dreams and make sure you forgive with furvor, laugh without restraint and dance whenever your heart wants.

Yesterday (July 31st, 2008) I had my third round of chemo. Gilles took me to the cancer clinic as usual. We had to be there for 8am so it was an early beginning to the day. But since I haven't been sleeping well lately it was okay with me. Gilles is the one who is being a trooper. He is always at the ready and comes to my rescue whenever and wherever. He really is my knight! Our day at the clinic is long - my chemotherapy is 6 hours and by the time we are finished with bloodwork and a visit with the oncologist, then the day is 8 hours. But they treat us well there. They are so kind and willing to do the best for you. Most of the time you can hear laughter. It is respectful laughter, though and the team works so well together and are an encouraging lot. Angels in blue, I call them. :)

I am constantly amazed by how God puts people in our path. Yesterday I met Cathy. Cathy was a lovely lady who was given the chair next to my bed. She has ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed in 2003 but sadly hers resurfaced a while ago so she has to go through the rigours once again. Cathy's friend came with her. We all got talking about our respective professions. Cathy works for the government so she shared a little of that with me. Then she asked what I did. I told her about my wonderful students who I teach then I told her I am a writer. She asked me what I write. I told her I mostly write for the Christian market. She said that was nice and then she moved on. A little while later Cathy had to go to the bathroom. Then her friend shared with me that she is a Christian but Cathy us not. She says she has been praying for her so she wanted to share that with me and so I said I would love to pray for Cathy. We talked about lots of wonderful faith matters (Cathy went to the bathroom a lot!) when we could. Cathy's friend also shared with me about how her husband had walked out on her during this whole ordeal with cancer. How thankful I was for my loving husband and his faithfulness. I was so sad for Cathy and could not imagine what that would be like. So Cathy is now on my prayer list. Maybe I will meet her at the clinic another time. I would like that.
I am going to close with a poem. In my regular journalling I usually have some sort of poem that I finish off with that shows my mood of the day. This one was written on June 18th, 2008 - the day before my first chemotherapy treatment.
Tomorrow the floodgates open
My emotions tossed and tethered to an IV pole
Will begin the incessant fatal
Dripping, dripping, dripping;
Untoward, cancerous, vilest of the vile
I will vomit them out
Rip out my hair; tufts of coarse fabric
Sentimental vanity;
Tears cleansing my soul
Dripping faster than the Taxol/Carboplatin team
United for the common cause
Eradication
Out darn spot - out!
Then the angels and Jesus tend and kiss my wounds;
I sleep.

Bless you friends and family. You mean the world to me. I love you all. Glynis