Sunday, June 3, 2012
Wednesday, I return. Six months has passed since I last visited the Cancer Clinic but this week I make that two hour trek back to London to find out what's next. Not sure if I am all alone with these mixed feelings, but I am heading west with trepidation. I wonder. I wonder why, in the first place this happened. I wonder why it is looking like things are going well in the survivor department for me but it did not for Becky (who was thirty with a little boy and she died from ovarian cancer) . I wonder what it is in my feeble mind that make me not able to stop thinking about cancer. Every lump; every bump; every elevated blood pressure causes me to consider that cancer may once again be rearing its ugly head. So tomorrow, I go for physical at my local clinic to check out these issues. My doctor who originally found my cancer will declare me fit and well. My medical expert will tell me that I am just imagining the worst and anticipating the negative. She will tell me that my high blood pressure is hereditary and that soon it will resolve itself. My time has not come for I feel I have yet still work to do.
So I will give my head a shake. I will trust God and I will focus on his plan to see me through once again. Dr. S...are you ready for my questions, my probing, my crazy,disjointed questions...?