Laughter

I catch a glimpse in the mirror
A hairless sight to behold
I do not like this pathway
I'm starting to feel very old.

But then I remember my Jesus
Who knows every hair on my head
That counting, of late, has been fruitless
So He reminds me to count blessings, instead! [Written in my journal July 8/08]

Yes, I've been doing a lot of that lately - counting my blessngs, that is. I'm getting to the point now that I sometimes forget that I don't have a hat on when someone comes to the door. For a while, after I lost my hair, I would turn tail and run like the wind to my bedroom. My hat and scarf stash is in there and I would not have been caught without something covering my naked noggin'.

Of course you can still tell that I am as bald as a baby even with my hat on, but it does offer a measure of covering for those times when I am in public. I must say I do find it funny how people react to a bald woman. Children don't stare half as much as grown-ups. In fact, when I talk to children it's as if they don't even notice. It's the big people who either stare or look away as quickly as they notice. I hate making people feel uncomfortable and I just wish they would ask me if I either have cancer or am going for the Britanny Spears look.

Today (Sunday) I feel tired. I am still not sleeping that well but am afraid to take medication to knock me out lest I have a hangover the next day again! I still haven't heard about the results of my ultrasound from last week but the nurse from the cancer clinic said she would call when they get the report.
My legs were swollen last night. I haven't had that problem since before my surgery. They are also sore at times, and then I find myself walking like a little old lady. That drives me absolutely bananas because I have always been able to leap small buildings in a single bound in the past (at least when I was wearing my superhero cape!) They are not really swollen tonight but 'I feel puffy.' I don't like these naughty steroids!

Okay, I am starting to whine. I'm outa' here.

But before I go, I am going to think for a second and count 10 blessings for today.
Here they are:
1) It's only my legs that are swollen - not my brain
2) Gilles beat me at Canasta and I didn't pout
3) Trenton used the potty twice today
4) My family still loves me even though I am falling apart
5) God still loves me even though I didn't make it to church
6) I am looking at some red, some blue and some white ribbons from the Drayton fair
7) Dick and Irene came to visit and said I didn't look funny without hair. Then I put my glasses on and then Dick said "Now you look funny!"
8) I can still laugh.
9) Gilles got a whole bunch of nice people to sponsor me for the Winners Walk of Hope for Ovarian Cancer.
10) Having hot flashes and being bald is actually okay