(Photos: Trevor and Janice...Amanda and Jason...I am so blessed knowing that my children are happily wed and independent.)
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Yesterday, September 11th, was my fifth chemotherapy day. Hooray...one more to go. And hooray, Laurie, my nurse got the IV in the first time around! It was another long, day but I am not complaining because things are looking hopeful for me. My blood work is showing good results. My CA125 has dropped from a whopping 1500 to 16! The lump on my wrist turns out to be a benign tumor on the blood vessel. (Breathing a big sigh of relief and dancing a [rather lame] happy dance!) After my last chemo on October 2nd, I will be checked again in six weeks. This is to make sure the treatments zapped all the nasty, invading cells. Watch out for the happy dance then. :)
At the cancer clinic I was blessed to have my friend, Cindy, next to me again. She and her sister, Denise - her designated driver and cheerful companion, were my mates for a while. Cindy was scheduled for her usual one hour session but due to a not so very nice reaction to her new drug, she ended up staying for over two, maybe close to three hours. It is amazing to see our angels in blue (nurses) expertly rally around when things go awry. The minute Cindy reacted, the emergency kit was brought out, the appropriate drugs were administered and each angel knew their role. Cindy's reaction was reversed and after a sufficient rest and trial period again, her drug was resumed and all was well. I was behind Cindy's curtain praying without ceasing as the angels worked. I praise God that He has gifted these nurses and has given them love and compassion for their patients and their jobs. One thing that I noted before they had closed Cindy's curtain to work on her, was the calmness that prevailed. There was no sense of panic - just efficiency. That is a blessing in itself.
My heart goes out to Cindy. Her road is long. At only 39 years, Cindy has breast cancer. The doctors started her on chemotherapy then she will have radiation and then surgery. She has three young children and her husband who is a pastor, is struggling to do his best to keep normalcy in the household and church. It cannot be easy.
I look at my situation and consider how blessed I am. My children are definitely affected by my cancer but they are married and independent and able to understand so much more. And I am 52 with grandbabies. My prayer is to be healed from this silent cancer and to see each of my grandchildren grow up but if I should not be healed, at least I have lived a life that holds treasured memories and I know my children will be okay. Of course I plan on making it to my rocking chair holding tightly to Gilles' hand, but I am also ready to hear and heed God's direction. Meanwhile I take up the guantlet and rally on.
This early morning, though, my rallying soul is a little tired. As is usual after my treatment, I had trouble sleeping and finally climbed out of bed at 4:45 after lying awake for ages. I let my fingers do the walking (So far they are the only body parts that don't ache) and started to attempt to catch up on some e-mails.
I don't know what later today will bring. I hope to have the energy to attend the visitations for the dear young people who died in the two separate vehicle accidents but right now I am not certain if I have. The old mind is willing but the flesh is definitely arguing. Gilles will go, of course, and represent us both if I cannot make it.
I continue to be so grateful to all our friends and family who have supported us in so many ways - from pedicures (thanks angel) to prayers and everything inbetween. I remain humbled and thankful. Now I am getting a little weepy so I am going to take a breather. I love you all. Thanks for caring enough to read my rantings. Bless you ALL this day and beyond (even those who challenge me in my faith [wink])
At the cancer clinic I was blessed to have my friend, Cindy, next to me again. She and her sister, Denise - her designated driver and cheerful companion, were my mates for a while. Cindy was scheduled for her usual one hour session but due to a not so very nice reaction to her new drug, she ended up staying for over two, maybe close to three hours. It is amazing to see our angels in blue (nurses) expertly rally around when things go awry. The minute Cindy reacted, the emergency kit was brought out, the appropriate drugs were administered and each angel knew their role. Cindy's reaction was reversed and after a sufficient rest and trial period again, her drug was resumed and all was well. I was behind Cindy's curtain praying without ceasing as the angels worked. I praise God that He has gifted these nurses and has given them love and compassion for their patients and their jobs. One thing that I noted before they had closed Cindy's curtain to work on her, was the calmness that prevailed. There was no sense of panic - just efficiency. That is a blessing in itself.
My heart goes out to Cindy. Her road is long. At only 39 years, Cindy has breast cancer. The doctors started her on chemotherapy then she will have radiation and then surgery. She has three young children and her husband who is a pastor, is struggling to do his best to keep normalcy in the household and church. It cannot be easy.
I look at my situation and consider how blessed I am. My children are definitely affected by my cancer but they are married and independent and able to understand so much more. And I am 52 with grandbabies. My prayer is to be healed from this silent cancer and to see each of my grandchildren grow up but if I should not be healed, at least I have lived a life that holds treasured memories and I know my children will be okay. Of course I plan on making it to my rocking chair holding tightly to Gilles' hand, but I am also ready to hear and heed God's direction. Meanwhile I take up the guantlet and rally on.
This early morning, though, my rallying soul is a little tired. As is usual after my treatment, I had trouble sleeping and finally climbed out of bed at 4:45 after lying awake for ages. I let my fingers do the walking (So far they are the only body parts that don't ache) and started to attempt to catch up on some e-mails.
I don't know what later today will bring. I hope to have the energy to attend the visitations for the dear young people who died in the two separate vehicle accidents but right now I am not certain if I have. The old mind is willing but the flesh is definitely arguing. Gilles will go, of course, and represent us both if I cannot make it.
I continue to be so grateful to all our friends and family who have supported us in so many ways - from pedicures (thanks angel) to prayers and everything inbetween. I remain humbled and thankful. Now I am getting a little weepy so I am going to take a breather. I love you all. Thanks for caring enough to read my rantings. Bless you ALL this day and beyond (even those who challenge me in my faith [wink])
4 comments:
Dear Aunt! We are much alike, I as you have find it healing to get out of bed and enjoy any moment of the day to clear my mind and release my thoughts to those people I know are both listening and wondering! I am just so proud of you and your accomplishments in this long never seeming to end journey, you are almost done and well ofcourse to us looking in it seems as though you have just made it look so easy. If anyone could ever have thought of an individual that could just do anything ..OR everything it was you. I cant speak for everyone but the years and years that go by that we see you in the kitchen, with the children and making the plans for a happy healthy family day(Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, Golf tournaments an even a simple car wash- many moons ago... do you remember that ?? you took some us into the car wash and made it such a fun event!! I remember! .. it was you! IT IS you of whom only a few woman in my life that I look up to in so many positive ways! your strength and happiness that you find in life really does directly effect everyone around you! It always has...I, soon becoming a new mom can only dream to be half as dedicated to the person you grew to be in life, the mother, wife and friend that we all cherish! I love you! as does your newest second nephew(who's counting though) he's on his way and cant wait to meet you! Just cant wait for you to wrap your arms around him! Love your niece in London whos always thinking of you...xoxoxox
Deat Glynis:
Thank-you so much for your prayers for my wife (especially during her last session). You have become such a wonderful friend to Cindy. Each time she goes for treatment she is wondering if she will see you.
As a family we think of you often and we keep you in our prayers. We pray that our God will heal you.
Though we wonder why certain things happen to us, we are also aware that we have a God present with us. He is not distant but so close that through his spirit he lives in us. May you feel his presence and his power in your life.
Thank-you again for your prayers, your love, and your friendship to my wife.
Love
Stephen Tamming
the husband of Cindy
Hi Glynis,
Thanks for your comment on my blog. I would love to keep up with how you're doing. I will add you blog to my blog list. I hope you're feeling well...
Kia
Mom, you've got me in tears at 1:30in the morning...darn you...I know I know! I should be in bed....you'll probably be reading this in an hour or so the way you've been going these last few days.....
You WILL get through this...you WILL see your grandbabies grow up....you WILL be at all their weddings...you WILL beat this...I have every confidence in you.
I have you and dad to thank for teaching me to be independent...you have been and always will be my role models...I love you both VERY very much! xo Amanda
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