Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day 4 - I Write About My Health Because...

I don't write about having ovarian cancer because I have any desire to keep re-living it. I write about it because I want other women to know what I didn't.

I didn't know it could creep up on a body and invade quietly; the symptoms - insidious and destructive. I didn't know that cancerous cells were multiplying frantically and tumours were forming. Vague symptoms tapping at my organs indicative perhaps of middle age, alarmed me not. As I look back after the fact, those symptoms should have raised a bit of a red flag. But nothing hurt.

Nothing hurt until the demons were released.

Shortly after that, I decided I would write about what was happening to me.

After all I am a writer. It was part of a natural process...

When I first started journalling after my cancer diagnosis, it was purely for therapeutic reasons. I found great release as I poured out my emotions and gut feelings on paper. Even during my cancer journey, I was pretty good at masking feelings and putting on the right face for the right moment. Journalling forced me to rip off the mask and be real. I didn't have to say 'fine' if I wasn't fine. I didn't have to nod when someone told me how good I looked when I felt like I could projectile vomit at any moment. It was sort of an escape for me; a time and place for me to scribble freely about what was going on not only in my body, but also in my mind.

Then someone suggested I start blogging. I didn't know much about the process but with a little more time on my hands and in between bouts of nausea and lethargy, I managing to grasp and learn the ins and outs of this new found method of communicating.

Soon I met other 'sisters' online and on other blogs who were dealing with the same things I was. I discovered friends and family and sometimes even just the curious, liked keeping up with me and finding out how my life was progressing via my blog.

Teal is the colour of ovarian cancer. Teal is my new red. (Red was my favourite colour.) After I got my head around 'having cancer,' my life turned to teal and my mantra was (is) to spend the rest of my days helping raise awareness (and funds for ovarian cancer research and early detection) and finding ways to educate women and turn up the volume on this disease that really does whisper.

That's why I write about ovarian cancer...

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