Heart Felt

I awoke this morning with a start. A crushing pain in the left side of my chest caused me to gasp and shudder. My breathing seemed irregular and it was all I could do to complete an inspiration without the cutting pain. My instinct told me to roll over and wallop my sleeping spouse. Perhaps 911 was the order of the day although I was thinking of a million reasons not to end up in emergency on a Monday morning. I moaned and groaned inwardly for about forty five minutes with the pain ebbing and flowing and causing me to wonder if I was imagining the whole thing.

Eventually I gently touched my stirring hubby and told him what was up. I asked him to get me some Advil, because I was thinking (and praying) it was a muscular issue that was taking my breath away. I stayed in bed for about fifteen more minutes to let the medication settle in to work mode.

As I did, I thought about all the wretched side effects of my chemotherapy. I am convinced that this was another episode of such. I cannot believe the different person that I have become physically since being diagnosed with cancer. It seems that wretched bitter sweet poison has depleted so many areas of my body and I wonder if I will ever be the same again.

Then I shifted my thought processes over to God and to what His plan might be. Then I thought about the power of prayer and where that notion has taken me. Then finally I remembered the words on that stone tablet in my livingroom - Trust Me, my Child...I have it all under control...love God.

The pain in my chest eventually disappeared and the rest of the day could be described as relatively normal, all things considered.

So for this day, I am thankful. I await the sunrise tomorrow.