Monday, October 15, 2012

Bitter-sweet?

          Finally, an appointment. We received the letter today from the hospital informing us that my hubby will be assessed by the haematologist. The definitive diagnosis is leukaemia. That's the bad news. The ray of sunshine that pervades the black cloud, however, is that the sweet man who said 'I do' to me 34 plus years ago, is dealing with the chronic form - chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) they call it. So now we once again wait for the day of the appointment to discover what the experts might say.The so-called good part about CLL is that it is slow and progressive. That is somewhat reassuring. So no chemotherapy or radiation off the bat. We await direction from the wise ones but meanwhile we ['specially me] try to stop playing the what if game. I did it when I battled my own cancer but then God, through a series of experiences and a few special people, showed me that everything would be okay.

     Do y'ever wonder why things happen? I admit that I sometimes do and sometimes I question out loud, but there is just something deep down in the recesses of my soul that whisper that there is something better. This world is merely a gateway to something extraordinary. It's a messed up crazy world we live in and some of the sad, brutal horrible things that happen make me want to curl into a ball and hide.

     I've heard it all.  "If there is a God, why does He let these things happen?" "Why do accidents happen?" "Why do disasters wreak havoc?" "Do you really think that a merciful God would allow babies to die or children to be abused?" "Why do young people shoot each other? Bully? Kill themselves?" Why did God let you both have cancer?"

     We all have our opinions. (Some are quicker to share theirs than others.) I don't have all the answers and I don't believe anyone, no matter how eloquent or sage, can truly have an answer for all the dreadfulness that is part of this world. But just because horror and hardship enter, doesn't mean I can denounce and give up on God. Besides, I don't want a fair-weather God.

    I know in my heart God is not the purveyor and perpetrator of wickedness. There is another force beyond our capacity to comprehend, that seeks to destroy.

     For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 

  So we don't waste time bemoaning the fact that another blip on the radar is seemingly steering us off the course of normalcy again. We open the trunk, dig out the armour and once again prepare ourselves for the fiery darts. My dearly beloved is embarking on a journey. He is courageous and ready. I am thankful to be able to travel with him. We don't really know at this point how long the journey will take, but thanks be to God, we do know the destination...

8 comments:

Janet Martin said...

Glynis, love, tears and prayers. Keep the faith. God does not leave or forsake and oh, what a testimony to those who have not yet read the valley of the shadow and to those in it!

Hugs and blessings~

Thank-you for sharing. My thoughts have been with you and wondering.

Janet Sketchley said...

Praying for you both, Glynis, with confidence that God has you in the palm of His hand. If you haven't read Violet's Other Food: daily devos post for Oct 15 (Job's Lament) maybe take a minute to find it. She's talking about the same issue of global (and personal)bad news and how we can respond as Christians.

Gwen Poot said...

You speak from your heart - the questions you ask are perfectly understandable and God is ok with you asking them. Keep reaching out - I so much appreciated the circle of care and prayer support as you do too - be comforted by the prayer shawl.

Hugs to you both!

Gwen Poot said...

You share from your heart. Your questions are so understandable and it's ok with God when you ask them.
Keep reaching out - as you know, I was also comforted by the circle of care and prayer. The prayer shawl gives so much comfort.
Little did we know 'for better or for worse, or in sickness and in health'....
Hugs to you both!

N. J. Lindquist said...

Thanks for posting this, Glynis.

Everyone's road is different, but the key thing is that, as the song said, "This world is not our home, we're only passing through."

This life is simply a blip in eternity and while it seems so real and often devastating, one day it will be a distant memory.

Life isn't fair. But God is.

Liz Volk said...

Dear Princess (You are a daughter of the King),

I haven't got words any better than yours to share. Just a reminder that He Who knows you best (He made you) and loves you most (He died for you) is praying for you (Romans 8; Hebrews 7)

I am praying, too.

Jan Cox said...

Wonderful Spirit filled words of wisdom. I loved the equipping with spiritual armour. I can picture that over your husband and you.
Prayers and blessings to both of you,
Jan

Mary Haskett said...

Dear Glynis,

Praying for you both. It is a good thing to share, you fulfill the law of Christ.

I pray God's peace for you both
Mary