Marine Motivation

 

    Four tiny fish swim around and around in the square glass container with the purple rocks. It's a tiny tank but Rosemary, my sister and fish aficionado, told me that the four little bubblers would be fine in there. She told me not to expect my new pets to grow very much, though. Because of the confines of their new home, growth would apparently be limited. Fish grow according to what they perceive to be their boundaries. I looked at the gigantic goldfish gamboling in my Dad's pond. I teetered between feeling good about having rescued these four little blighters from a life of possible peril and feeling guilty that they would never get as big as the other poissons in the pond.

It all started with Dad's desire to have a backyard water garden of sorts. As I mentioned, my big sis' knows a lot about fish and setting up an outside pond. She had her own for years. So to make Big Poppa happy and to complete his landscaping request, she made him a terrific backyard pond. I was so impressed with her handiwork and how asthetically pleasing she created it to be.

Be Fruitful and do your Math!

Rosemary did such a fine job, though, that the environment was seemingly perfect for that age old command to Be Fruitful and Multiply. And multiply, they did. Over the summer we watched numerous hatchings happen. There were gold ones, white ones, black ones, black and white ones, black and gold ones, white, black and gold ones; you name it, the combinations were there. In the end there must have been at least a hundred extra pretty little finned critters vying for a spot in the pond.

And the answer is!

A decision had to be made. The original sixteen big boys (and obviously girls) would be crowded out if the junior swimmers stayed. There was only room for about 20 in the original pond, according to Rosemary's rulebook. So the others had to go. We started thinking about what to do with the extra goldfish. My daughter put her hand up and said she would take a dozen. I remembered a lovely square glass fishbowl that sat silent in my pantry, so I piped up and offered to take a few. The rest we decided, would go to JJ's pond. We all pretended not to think about all the stocked bass in Rosemary's son's pond. We didn't want to consider the possibility of the other 84 or so leftover critters being bass bait. We didn't dare tell that part to Dad. He would sooner make his pond bigger and save them all. But since that was not feasible, we described the vastness of JJ's pond and how happy the extra fish would be (as long as they were fast swimmers and knew how to hide!)

We did our duty and Rosemary and I lowered the motley crew destined for JJ's pond into the big Rubbermaid ® container with the holes poked in the top. I picked out four cuties for my bowl and my daughter saved her 12.

So now here I sit gazing into their square glass home. I like watching them swim around but I still feel a little guilty about taking them away from their spacious environment and not giving them an opportunity to 'lay low' in JJ's huge pond. At least there they might have grown and reached their potential size.

As I look at this gaily coloured marine quartet swimming around in their limited enviroment, call it odd, but I find myself comparing their existence to my own. Then I wonder if I have got myself into a bit of a fishbowl mentality in my writing life. Am I denying opportunities that God has placed right in front of my face? Do I need to talk less and listen more (to His still small voice?) Somedays I feel like I am doing nothing but going in circles. I have a million ideas swimming around in my head but it seems I get nowhere - fast. I know I have a lot of personal things happening but surely I can find significant time to expand my own fishbowl.

Maybe it's a good thing that I adopted my four fishies. Maybe it's a good thing that they are in a prominent place in my house to serve as a reminder. Maybe it's time I find ways to expand my own boundaries and make sure I am doing what God tells me to, rather than what I think. I am pretty sure God doesn't want me swimming around for too long in my self-imposed fishbowl. In fact, I'm having a little trouble navigating around. Time to get back to the drawing board and review my plan of action. Swim said the mamma fish, swim if you can...

On Being Thankful - A Perspective about Attitude

I wish I was wiser.Why can't I get published more?
How is it that other people get 1000s of hits on their blog and I only get hundreds?
If someone asks me a biblical question and I cannot answer it, I feel less of a Christian.
We don't have our sod in yet and we have lived in our new house for over a year now.
I am too fat.
I am too wrinkly.
I am too tall if I wear high heels.
I am directionally challenged and get lost too often.
I forget all the time. The chemotherapy fried my brain.
My book isn't finished.
I have to look after my Dad every day.
I wish I could draw or paint
It's too cold.
It's too hot.
My feet hurt
I have to pay the dispensing fee on my medication
I don't know what to make for supper
My husband snores
Some people gossip at church
I've nothing to be thankful for today. Everything went wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GIVE THANKS

WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
GIVE THANKS
TO THE HOLY ONE
GIVE THANKS
FOR HE'S GIVEN
JESUS CHRIST, HIS SON

AND NOW LET THE WEAK SAY I AM STRONG

LET THE POOR SAY
I AM RICH
BECAUSE OF WHAT
THE LORD HAS DONE
FOR US
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I was wiser.

My students love me and think I am pretty smart. Kyle asked me yesterday if I know the meaning of every word in the dictionary when we were discussing vocabulary. He made me smile.

Why can't I get published more?

God has me just where he wants me in my writing career. I am thankful that I write a regular column, that I recently won a couple of prizes in a writing contest and that my writer's group value my teaching and some of them are making contacts and getting published. I also like it when I can grasp snippets of time in my busy day to write.

How is it that other people get 1000s of hits on their blog and I only get hundreds?

Thank goodness people are reading my blog. If I were to line up 100 people that would be a lot of people who are being reached by my words. What if I encourage even one? What if one person draws closer to God because of something I wrote? What if one woman was saved from later stage cancer because she read something on my blog about detecting ovarian cancer early?

If someone asks me a biblical question and I cannot answer it, I feel less of a Christian.

I have quite a few different Bibles. If I need to look something up, I can use any one of these translations or I can use my laptop computer to search for answers. Most of all I can pray without fear of persecution and ask God to reveal things to me.

We don't have our sod in yet and we have lived in our new house for over a year now.

We finally own our own home. It has a been a bit of a journey but my happy hubby did a lot of the work. We have been trying to spend wisely and divvy our paycheques. We always have a roof over our head and we work on the finishing touches when we have the time and the money. I think the sod will be in before the snow flies!

I am too fat.

I sure don't get cold too often! :) My grandchildren love to snuggle. My reflection is only surface. I love my stairs - they are a great place to get extra exercise.

I am too wrinkly.

Miss J. said that when I laugh I get lines on my face. I love my laugh lines. Laughter is the perfect cover for wrinkles.

I am too tall if I wear high heels.

Grace and finesse were never for me. If I wore high heels, I would likely end up having to wear support stockings - not a pretty sight.

I am directionally challenged and get lost too often.

Only Onstar and Google Maps know how often I get lost. They are not about to tell.

I forget all the time. The chemotherapy fried my brain.

But the chemotherapy also fried the cancer cells. Another good check-up again this past month. So far, so good. One day at a time sweet Jesus.

My book isn't finished.

My book is at least underway and I received some positive reviews from an editor I met at a writer's conference.

I have to look after my Dad every day.

My 85 year old Dad has all his marbles, is still able to live alone, trusts me with his affairs and still calls me Dinny (my childhood nickname)

I wish I could draw or paint

I can write and teach.

It's too cold.

I have a full wardrobe and I live in a warm house.

It's too hot.

I have an oscillating fan by my bed with a remote control. We have air conditioning in our new house. We live in Canada. Soon the snow will cool me down.

My feet hurt

I don't need a wheelchair or a walker. If I have pain, I have medication that is paid for through a drug plan from my hubby's work.

I have to pay the dispensing fee on my medication

I read about the man who has a terminal disease and he has to pay for his own medication - $3000 a month.

I don't know what to make for supper

I have a choice. I have food in my freezer, produce in my garden and I cannot recall the last time I ever had to go hungry because the cupboard was bare.

My husband snores

I have a man who loves me despite all my foibles; who has stuck around for 34 years as of next February and who brings me a cup of tea in bed then kisses me good morning (every morning.)

Some people gossip at church

Our church is a loving caring safe place and when I was first diagnosed with cancer I had over 100 cards decorating my wall. People visited regularly and I had meals for weeks and then some. Some of the ladies organized a team and looked after my garden and flower beds all summer long. My congregation prayed without ceasing for our family.

I've nothing to be thankful for today. Everything went wrong.

The brilliant sun shone down on me as I was outside gathering the last of my fresh tomatoes off the vine. One of my students thanked me implicitly for the help I gave her on her project and with her math this afternoon. My granddaughter said she wanted to stay at my house today instead of going home. My sister said she appreciates me. I am sitting here looking at photographs of my family who are all coming for dinner on Thanksgiving Day. I am so excited. Jesus love me this I know (for the Bible tells me so!)

"...be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:18b- 20