Day 7 - Free Thinking

Today's challenge had little parameters. The point was whatever I wanted it to be. So I chose a diary entry from August 8th, 2008. I was half way into my chemotherapy and I do believe I was having a bad day.

************
It was a bit of a madhouse today. I am feeling okay but I am going a little bonkers mentally. I want some time to myself.  Someone is always coming; always calling; always visiting. I just want a few days to myself so I can think. My hubby loves this because obviously his social needs are great. Mine aren't. I want to spend three or four straight days writing and thinking and praying - not necessarily in that order!

Silence, pacific solitude.

I long for a measure

Serve me up to sit in stillness.

Lord, must I force a face?

Help him to understand my needs...

I seek to please

But I get nowhere on this Hamster Wheel;
Accused of callousness
Blessed by the unknown sea of faces
Who encourage and pray
Chiseling away at the statue
Within
They call me strong, heroic, courageous.
I am weak, kittenish, meek, selfish
Because I am thinking of me
Out! Darn spot...
Now I will sleep - deep sleep...

**************************