POW! BIFF! WHAM! That's the sound of me kicking and screaming as I head out this morning on that all too familiar journey.
Destination: Walkerton Hospital.
Purpose: CAT scan.
Thursday's visit to the cancer clinic in London ended with a visit to the lab for blood work and plans for a CAT scan appointment. An area in my right abdomen is a bit of a concern so my oncologist is investigating.
Last time I visited the Walkerton Hospital was 2008. 'Twas then the diagnosis of ovarian cancer was confirmed. Not letting my head go there again. I suppose the irony behind all this is that October 2013 marks my five year jumping off point in the cancer world.
Recently I spoke to a group of very welcoming women at a local church on the topic of hope. I prayed that God would bless me with words that day that would encourage anyone experiencing that spiralling out of control feeling. God never said in His word that when we signed on as believers there would be smooth sailing. What He did promise was that He would be with us always and that by fully trusting in Him we would find strength. In Christ there is hope...
So, it's time to practise what I preach. I've just tossed back two huge Styrofoam vases filled with the 'special' pre CAT scan liquid and await being engulfed by the great technological monster, complete with smiley faces which light up showing me when to hold my breath and when to breathe. I don't want my joy to be stolen so I remember what I said about hope. I smile and feel strengthened.
As I look around the waiting room I see a soul in agony. The IV port peeks under her jacket and her grimace indicates that pain is monopolizing her peace. A woman about my age looking so much more worse off than I feel. I am grateful that she gets called in before me. I look fine. She doesn't. She needs to be tended to first.
A handsome young man in a black and white Roots jacket looks preoccupied - head resting against the bleak, beige wall. Concerned about a loved one, perhaps? A wife? A mother? A child?
Everyone has a story. Sometimes we feel alone as our tale unfolds. But today - although I am alone in the waiting room, I am far from feeling alone on my journey. God has covered me with the balm of Holy Spirit; the love of Christ and His reassurance.
"Be strong and of good courage," He whispers. "Do not fear nor be afraid...for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you." I cherish His promises.
The technician comes to collect her next customer.